Goodbye and Farewell
by VenusUnchained
Summary: Mina sheds some baggage to make room for more.


She furiously wiped another tear from her eye. Crying was never her style and she hadn't planned on starting now. The sky was just beginning to soften over the city creating a chillier breeze from the vast dark waters in front of her. Her fingers gripped the railing in defiance of the numbness overtaking them, knuckles groaning with ache when her fingers tried to tighten further. She'd stood here before, near the pier and far away from prying eyes or the worried glances of her loving friends.

They knew she was different, but they'd all been through so much it wasn't her style to say her experiences had been any more challenging than the other girls. She certainly had one hell of a case of identity crisis, something else she'd deny if asked, and it had something to do with the memories she had, that they didn't. Sure, they remembered the important stuff by now, but Mina had a full other life crammed into her head with such detail she could describe entire conversations of the most mundane of topics with someone she'd only spoken to once back in their days on the Moon Kingdom.

Her cheek was turning red, her fingers fumbling to halt another tear before it could slide down her cheek as tears were meant to. If she could stop them then it meant she wasn't really crying, right? Mina sniffled, wiping her nose like a child on the back of her hand and shoved her hands into her pockets to save them from the chilled Autumn air. She rolled blue eyes at herself before she bent down to pick up the reason she'd come all the way out here to escape the prying eyes of her friends and guardian. She chewed on her bottom lip, a habit she kept trying to quit but a billion year old habit proved hard to break.

Mina blew an exasperated breath through her bangs, stepping carefuly over the uneven wood of the old pier toward the edge that had no railing to hold her back. She shivered a little more but sat down indian style at the edge, the choppy waves dancing around her giving the illusion that she was floating weightless above the tepid waters. She set the small box to her side, creating a quick messy bun to protect her face from her blonde locks that felt like whips against her skin. It was already a tangled mess anyway, it wouldn't be the first time that day she questioned why she wore it so damn long.

She took a moment, gazing out at the water, allowing the vertigo of it make her feel weightless and a little free. It was her spot, a place no one knew she came when a boy broke her heart or memories just became too potent for her mind to handle. It was a place she could allow herself to feel weak without someone seeing her, a place she could feel free. Boats hardly ever parked here anymore, usually taking advantage of the larger pier closer to the city but occasionally an old fisherman would be here and she'd sit and watch him in wonder at how at peace he was.

Mina turned off her cell phone, already a couple texts from Usagi wanting to get together soon like they didn't talk or see each other every day. It made her smile as she shoved the phone in her pocket. Hard as her life has been, she wouldn't trade it for anything thanks to her friends. They made up for so much more than she'd ever lost and if she had to endure this crazy life of saving the world, there was no other group of girls she'd ever want at her back.

She squinted her eyes at the slowly setting Sun, the colors becoming ever softer she realized she needed to get this over with before it got too dark. Thankfully feeling returned to her fingers and she flipped open the shoebox at her side, smile fading at the contents inside. It was time to say goodbye.

The first object was the most worn piece of notebook paper ever to exist. It had been folded about five hundred times, each fold reduced to worn tears at the seams. It was covered in adolescent scrawl, the lovesick ramblings of a child who only knew love from what could be learned between the covers of popular manga. It was the first love letter she'd ever written to Higashi, ironically a Dark Kingdom puppet. She was a magnet for those wasn't she? Without much thought to it, Mina tossed it to the waves, adding to the polution that would be swallowed by the coming century. She liked to think maybe a Mermaid might find it and give it to her lover. They existed right? Goddesses and battle crazed beings from other dimensions did, so why couldn't Mermaids?

"Goodbye stupid middleschool crushes..." She almost giggled at how many there were.

First object down was easy, her fingers fumbled for the next and this one tugged her heart a little more. A photograph. She was dressed like Sailor V at the London Precinct with Natsumi who was beaming and had her arm thrown around V's shoulder while she flashed a smile and brilliant v for victory with her fingers. Wakagi was there, looking utterly pissed and irritated at her presence and for a moment it made Mina smile with the memory. She hoped they were still married, she told herself they were because if they weren't she'd feel like it was her fault.

"Fuck..." She muttered, wiping another tear from her eyes and throwing the picture into the water. It felt like her stomach dropped, her heart beat a little harder while she watched the white back of the photo dance slowly over the waves in a taunting slow motion as it was carried out to sea. This was going to be harder than she thought. "Goodbye guys... please be happy..." She whispered to no one. A tear escaped and fell on her hand with a loud shuttering breath.

The next photo was even harder. A family portrait at Christmas- a young Mina in her red dress with white furry trim sitting in her Father's lap with her Mother's hand in his. She wanted to scoff, but she sobbed instead. There wasn't a time she could think of that they were ever happy like this. Maybe after she was gone? Was she such a source of strain on them or was the payoff from the contracts she had when she died, to their knowledge, so great that it was worth the loss of thier child? The photo crumbled in her palm when it clenched, distorting their faces which proved more fitting than anything else. The photo was a damned lie. Her mother was abusive, a drunk who did little else but tear her down when she couldn't make a buck off her daughter's beauty. She certainly wasn't smart enough to be worth anything on her own so it all came down to her pretty face. Her father had been a traiterous letch, absent but seemingly doting by the nice house they had while he engaged in affairs with every secretary he ever had.

A tear thudded when it hit the paper. Could she really blame them? Their martial problems were their own and yet Mina felt like the center of them. Would her Mother have been different if her Father were faithful? Would her Father been more faithful if her Mother took better care of herself and put the bottle down? Mina sniffled, staring down at their smiles. Her Mother told her once that they'd been happy before she was born. She hadn't been an easy child, even Mina knew that. She always had done everything her way, she had zero attention span, and way too much energy. Fuck she'd tried to hard to make them proud but nothing she'd ever done was good enough. She sobbed once and dropped the photo. It fell lifelessly from her palm, not even worth the effort to throw it.

"I hope it was worth it." She muttered, not bitter at all, when it hit the water below her. Mina frowned in rememberance of the press release that hardly concealed their newfound love for each other or the excitement that they were going to buy a house in the country because the "memories were just too painful." They didn't seem painful when she spied them through the window before she left London, snug together on the couch watching TV as though the world were set right. The way they never had before. At least they made their fortunes off of her death, and never did finalize their divorce. "Goddess of love strikes again...thanks for nothing." She muttered to herself, watching the photo float away.

"Goodbye Mom and Dad."

The next items all kind of went together and it's truly what she needed to brace herself for. First was a red mask. Her fingers brushed over its surface that hummed with the weakest of magic reserved for hiding identities. She hadn't worn it in a long time, yet it was a piece of her. She'd mastered this magic, this mask over her own smile by now and she'd gotten so good at it that it alarmed even her sometimes. It was a symbol of her days fighting the Dark Kingdom alone. Before she had someone so precious to protect and she was burdened by the weight of a whole other life, a whole other incarnation of herself that she envied with her whole being.

She knew there were a couple of her friends who saw straight through it, and sometimes the mask was harder to wear without the physical red one in her hand. Of course that hardly went well with a pencil skirt and heels in the office. It was hard for her to release it, her safety blanket. Her fingers shook and she swiped the back of her hand across her eyes to relieve her blurred vision once more. Mina breathed deep, and released it to the whipping winds. It danced on the hard breeze just slightly before it hit the water. Mina sniffled loudly, watching the only symbol she had left of the original Sailor Senshi float gracefully on the waves. She said goodbye to a part of herself, and an era of her life she viewed as the source material for her trauma. It was the transition from her life in London to Tokyo that she remembered it all.

"Sayonara V-Babe..."

The napkin contained handwriting she felt stupid for not recognizing. She would have needed her memories for this because it was a General's handwriting. Elegant and neat- it should have thrown her off that a High School kid named Saito gave it to her. Love makes you overlook things though. The thought made her frown, recent events were a testament to this. Letting it go was easier than she would have thought, she memorized the writing on it anyway, a song he wrote for her that she's sung more times than she was proud.

"Saito you bastard." She half smiled, watching it float away and disappear on the breeze. Mina wasn't sure it hit the water because the next thing in the box was a punch to the gut.

The glove was filthy. The heart cut out of it still had a black sludgy like grime dried on the white fabric. She's had dreams before where his hand was still inside of it, the thought never ceases to make her cringe. Mina fingered the fabric briefly, no words or thoughts really came to mind just a replay of that horrible afternoon on the rooftop of the Chinese theatre. Pale green peridot eyes turned acid at her, disbelieving that she finally loved him, using his final words to curse her. A curse Mina was certain remained intact to that very day. A sick part of her still loved him, which was why she needed this, she needed to say goodbye.

It was indoubtedly the worst day of her life. She wasn't able to properly plead with Adonis because an entire lifetime just poured its way into her tiny teenage mind mere moments before she confronted him. She DID love Adonis, more than he could ever know but that was before she remembered. Before she knew Usagi, or Serenity, existed and she needed to find her as soon as possible because she was in danger. Oh the love she felt pour in for that girl was more potent than anything she'd ever felt in her life, never had the call to duty been so strong.

Even still, the accusations Ace threw at her made sense because yes she loved him but it was before she remembered her roots, that there was a soul in silver that nearly rivaled her love for her Princess, a true love. A soulmate. Not that she had time to fully process HIM yet since the memories had only just begun to register in her mind. Third place was not a fair place for Adonis to live in her heart and he knew it, and so with his final words he delivered her into a loveless life of duty. His final breaths a curse over her heart as she clung to his hand in an effort to save him and he fell from the edge of the theatre's roof while the building crumbled beneath them. He'd forced her hand, and forced this life.

She sobbed as soon as the glove left her hand, floating briefly on the water before it soaked through the fabric and began to sink beneath the waves. Mina clamped her hand over her mouth, her eyes shut tight as though she could bottle up the grief. It felt like she'd killed him all over again, killed him when he might have been saved. How was she supposed to know that was possible? How could she have done it any differently when she was so new at this? The final two items wouldn't be any easier. She took a moment, surrendering to her tears as she cried harder than she had in recent memory until her stomach ached. The card she carelessly lifted from the box sliced her finger, it was a lightweight bladed metal Ace of Hearts, taken from one of the battles he helped her with for observation and kept as a token of her poor misguided teenage heart.

She flicked it in the water with an ungraceful flick of her wrist, sucking her bleeding finger until the stinging stopped and both items were consumed by the tide. Mina frowned, the box at her side empty. Fresh tears fell with her next deep breath, only opening to slide a gold ring from her finger, the Venusian symbol glinted dimly in the faded light. It was getting darker by the second, a selfish part of her telling herself that it was okay to keep it, counterproductive of her venture to move forward.

Mina pressed her lips gently to the symbol of their people. He was Venusian too she remembered, a soldier she never took the time to know. A man who loved her, and she could have loved in return if her soul hadn't been bared and tied to another. Adonis could have been the easy choice and how different her story would be now had she chosen him instead of the forbidden Commander of the Golden Armies, her silver soul. She couldn't help but wonder how different things truly would be in the present day had Venus made a different decision, but no disrespect for the dead- there hadn't been another choice back then. Was there now?

Mina shivered, clenching the ring in her fist as she stood. Her face lifted to the starlit sky uttering a tearful prayer up to their home planet before she threw the gold ring with all she had into the black abyss the ocean had become.

"Goodbye Ace... may you rest peacefully... you truly deserved better of me. I hope you believe me when I say I loved you, and part of me always will... but you were right. My heart was never truly yours, and maybe it never will fully belong to another, but there is hope in this time and place. Maybe a chance..." Mina felt tired suddenly, recent events did lend to possibilities she'd never had before. It had been a terrifying time, with a promise of new prospects and a future only Pluto could have seen coming. She turned, exhaling deeply in and out while she walked down the pier and pulled her phone from her pocket, powering the cell on to call a cab.

"Mina." A familiar voice called to her, deep and commanding. She'd know it anywhere. He stood leaned against an older black SUV in the shadows by the gravel road at the edge of the pier, hands folded away in the pockets of a really nice wool coat. She hung up on the cab company as they answered with a quick tap of the 'end call' button and stared a moment before she took the first steps toward him.

"How did you know where I was?" Mina stared up into his shadow soaked face, unable to read his expression. He shrugged and she thought he might be frowning but he didn't do that so much anymore so it was hard to tell.

"I think I can always find you." She nodded, knowing it was probably true. There were few people alive with souls as entwined as theirs were, messy and tangled in knots but something told her Khai was the kind of guy with patience enough for knots. He chuckled lightly then, gesturing behind him toward the windshield of his car with his thumb. "Someone was also worried about you."

Mina glanced over his shoulder, barely able to make out the white ball of fur nestled up on the dashboard of his car. Probably in an effort to stay warm. She frowned a little, Artemis was never a fan of Kunzite, or Khai and experience told her the only times the two got together was to talk about her.

"Does that mean everyone knows? He would have gone to the girls first." Khai shook his head, she could see him a little better the more her eyes adjusted.

"I told them I found you at the park."

"They would have searched the park."

"It's a big park." He sighed, Mina was certain he rolled his eyes at her and stood to full height. "Want a lift back or would you rather call a cab?" She considered it a moment, his tone was a little less than friendly but she'd been pretty awful to him herself. Tonight was a night of goodbyes after all so it was almost fitting that Khai of all people showed up. Mina didn't say anything, just took a few steps to the passenger door and released her hair from the bun she'd slapped it in and pocketed her signature red ribbon. Artemis blinked awake of course when the interior light came on and she gathered her feline guardian in her arms. He immediately nestled against her chest and rest his small head at her shoulder to resume his nap.

Mina watched Khai a moment, who remained outside with his face lifted to the stars. She could see the faint outline of his features, how his silver hair shone in the faint light and floated on the breeze. She remembered the first time she met him in the Silver Millennium in similar lighting, how the rash and overzealous Princess of Venus was caught by his beauty and unable to react at his approach. She'd likened him to some God back then and she wasn't fit to argue with the sentiment now. Only he was more beautiful now, softer.

He climbed in the drivers seat, she was rarely this close to him to see him lit by the yellow light of the interior. The fact that his eyes were grey, not a milky lifeless blue, was a constant source of relief. Mina leaned her head against the window, lazily stroking the white fur of her guardian while the world zipped by in shades of darkness and neon lights the closer they got to the city. Her street was a charming one- an artistry district filled with handmade goods including Nigel's woodworking shop and Makoto's Cafe, soda shops and specialty bars that Jeison so endearlingly labeled as the Hipster Trap.

Mina felt lighter having said her goodbyes to a life before this one. A string of events that were complicated and almost as painful as memories of a life before it. It didn't erase the doubts that crept into her mind at times or the overall want for normalcy and love. Gods she had so much want inside of her but none of it compared to her call to Usagi. She had dreams and aspirations too but they were ripped from her once, and she gave them up willingly a second time. Khai parked on the street in front of the black awning of the old lady's art gallery full of insanely beautiful oil paintings and her apartment directly above it. Artemis yawned and jumped from her lap silently and rubbed up against her leg when she got out of the car. He was careful not to talk in public, but stared up at her happily a moment before he issued a nod toward Khai who joined them on the sidewalk. The white cat stretched and bounded off toward the dark ally, probably to go inform Luna that she made it home safely.

"You look like you've been to battle." He remarked in that unreadable tone he had, a quick glance down at his watch gave away his anxiety. Their relationship hadn't been the greatest since the great return of the Shitennou was made known to her. Mina was always the hard one to win over, she'd never really been great at forgiving people who hurt her, let alone hurt Usagi. One by one she watched her friends become sucked back in by them. Their ridiculous good looks and charms, or how they actively made an effort to prove that they have spent years in punishment for what they've done. That their souls are returned clean and new to Endymion who of course by the grace of Selene took them back as his own guard.

"Maybe I have been." She shoved her hands in her pocket, lips trying to not tug into a smile of mischief and finding the effort harder than she imagined. Things hadn't been all bad between them, a careless kiss on her part, or good natured joke or remark. Of all of them, he was definitely the most changed and she didn't really know how to take it.

"Are you alright?" His brow twitched just slightly. She laughed a little in her throat, watching as his muscles visibly relax beneath his own wool coat.

"I'm fine Khai, thanks for picking me up. I guess I'm just a little embarassed you found me like that. I'd probably be more embrarassed to know how long you were out there watching..." He chuckled and looked at his feet as they shifted weight making silver cascades of hair fall over his shoulders.

"Probably would be." His eyes glanced up without lifting his head, seeming to take in what she knew was her discheveled appearance. Her hair messy, mascara probably smeared, cheeks still blotchy and eyes red from wiping away too many tears. After all she'd only bothered to wear some comfortable jeans, a dark blue scoop necked cotton henley t-shirt that wore like a tunic over her hips and some plain worn sneakers. She liked to think the burnt orange pea coat made her look at least presentable but in her current state she wasn't sure there was any salvaging her appearance. "Look... I know things have been weird but I still want to talk soon..."

His voice cut the already awkward silence and part of her wished he'd just get in his rusty old 4 Runner and head home, more out of cowardice than anything else. She hadn't been ready to deal with the fact that he was here, alive and totally in control of his mind and body. She wasn't ready to deal with millenia old emotions that had weight now that he was very present where they were only beautiful dreams before. He nodded, defeat drooping the corners of his mouth and he turned with a twirl of his keyring around his finger.

"I can leave. It's late and it looks like you've had a rough night." Panic settled in, why couldn't she just voice her inner monologues no matter how scattered and nonsensicle they were? It's not like he didn't know her, of anyone in any of her incarnations it was always Kunzite to understand her best.

"I was saying goodbye." She called out as he opened the door to his car to leave. He paused and glanced back at her above the open driver side door. "I'll make some coffee... if you want to come up." She offered with a nervous hand gesture toward the side door that lead up to her charming little shoebox apartment. Khai paused a moment, seeming to weigh his options since last time he came over things didn't end well. Mina felt almost relieved that he pocketed his keys, hearing the locks of the car flip before he shut the door to follow her.

The dark narrow hallway with the even more narrow staircase that lead up to her apartment looked like something out of a horror movie. The ugly green carpet, the already dim hallway light flickering noisily, and the musty smell of oil paints wafting in from the studio. Mina loved it for the most part, even if the hallway needed some sprucing up and the stairs groaned beneath Khai's much heavier weight than herself.

Her front door was forever stuck, so she had to barge through. It was something that never bothered her but the landing was so small that his chest almost brushed her back and his presence was already overwhelming to her. Mina was proud of her extremely small flat, she's made it homey enough and the rent was right for her salary. She likes it for all of it's quirks and it suits her completely since it's a far cry from the traditional Japanese set-ups and something more like what she would have gotten back in London. Khai on the other hand, nearly had to duck to make it through the narrow entrance.

She threw her coat over one of the chairs at the tiniest dining room table in the world's tiniest dining rooms, extending a hand to take his as well. Of course he looks perfectly groomed and just perfect when he shrugs out of his own wool coat. The nice black sweater he wore paired with some ripped and well fit jeans and boots only serving to make her feel more self conscious about her appearance.

"Have a seat... my house is yours." Mina offered with a plastered smile. The strangeness to hear him laugh a little brought her more unease and she found her heart beating erratically when his light grey eyes became teasing.

"Fine then, I'll move in tomorrow." He quipped, shoving his hands into the pockets of the jeans that fit him way too well for his own good. The teasing was new, another testament that he was a different man.

"Whatever, you know what I meant." She retreated to her kitchen to start the coffee pot with an impatient roll of her eyes. Mina could hear him chuckle again, moving further into the living room. Normally she was a tragedy in the kitchen, but a few weeks of helping Makoto at her cafe had Mina a regular coffee making wizard. Plus it gave her a few minutes to escape his commanding presence and the cool but spicy scent of him that assaulted her since she made the choice to get in his car.

She splashed her face with some water while it turned cold, grabbing a clean wash cloth to attempt removing any smudges around her eyes and calm some of the redness with only her reflection in the door of her microwave. A deep sigh escaped her lips and she filled the pot with water to add to her coffee maker. He was so quiet in there that it was easy to forget that the male equivalent to a silver blade sat in wait for her in her living room. Mina scooped some coffee into the filter and flipped the maker on.

She grabbed two mugs from her cabinet, purposefully grabbing the pink one with a Sun and unicorn on it that said "I'm just a ray of fucking sunshine" on it for him. A gag gift Rei thought suited Mina well in the morning before her coffee. She used her fingers to try and tame some of the tangles from her hair, unsure why it mattered suddenly. Tonight was for goodbyes and it was his fault for sneaking in on her rather private ritual at the pier. She found herself lost in thought, filing through old memories of him and trying to line them up with the new man in her living room. They were similar and different all the same but she could see that it was a matter of upbringing that would have brought about the more drastic changes. He was still serious as a heart attack but held a warmth that allowed him to smile, and tease, and laugh. Gods he was so much more beautiful for it.

The beeping of the coffee maker scared the Hell out of her. She jumped, fighting the urge to scream a curse at it as she would have were she alone. Instead Mina opted to simply glare at the offensive machine while she opened the fridge to grab her vanilla creamer. She poured two cups, leaving the unicorn one black and adding cream to her more plain white mug with little multi colored hearts all over it. She knew he still took it black, she would have known this even if he didn't frequent Makoto's cafe nearly every morning, but it helps her to deal with the fact that it's more from habit than memory at this point.

She stole a final moment, not that her kitchen allowed for much privacy since all that separated her from the living room was an opening between the cabinets and counter with the small open bar that did little but hold her junk mail.

Mina almost jumped again when she rounded the corner back into her living room to find him on her loveseat as though she didn't expect to see him there. She had no intentions of taking a hot coffee bath tonight so she was grateful she was able to keep her nerves intact so he didn't have more fuel to tease her with. Khai looked peaceful, his head leaning back against the cushion with his eyes closed, arms crossed tight over his rather muscled chest, and gorgeous silver hair falling carelessly over his shoulders. She wondered if he'd fallen asleep, but his pale eyes opened slowly and he lowered his head to look at her. Hell was she in trouble.

"I thought you fell asleep for a second there old man." Mina teased, placing the mugs on the small glass coffee table. She wished for a moment that she had more than the small loveseat to sit on but took her place beside him. He chuckled, a deep laugh when he leaned forward to pick up the pink unicorn mug.

"Why do I feel like this embodies you perfectly?" His brow raised to compliment his damned charming smile.

"Rei thought so too." She commented, unable to stop her smile when he closed his eyes at the first sip and his own lips curled blissfully with a really sexy growl of approval in his throat.

"I'll let the old man comment slide for now. But only because this coffee is amazing." He eyed her, the smile broadening a moment because she knew she'd been caught staring. Or maybe he noticed her half assed primping job she did in the kitchen. It was easy to get distracted by him, the dimple in his one cheek more potent now by years of use, his slightly deeper skin tone whitening his smile that had always been so dashing, just less commonly seen. "You'll have to forgive my curiosity. I know we have a lot to talk about but indulge me. You were saying goodbye? "

Her stomach flipped as he released her from the weight of his gray eyes to take another long drink from his cup and set it back on the table. Mina took a small sip of hers, unsure how he was able to drink it while it was so hot like that and hummed an affirmation as she returned her cup to the table as well. Khai shifted to face her a little better, leaning back against the cushions and Mina suddenly wished she had more than just a two seater sofa. He was a broad man, tall, and it made the loveseat feel so much smaller than it was.

"I was saying goodbye to the life I left behind in London." She couldn't look at him, knowing he'd be raising one or both of his brows waiting with patient silence for her to elaborate. "I need to move forward. I know we can't truly ever say goodbye to the Silver Millennium... we carry that with us always don't we?"

"And it appears that we're preparing for something like it to rise again. Crystal Tokyo will be much the same." His tone became official, she missed that tone when they spoke about their duties. It was an old song of theirs, a duet. "But no... we can't ever say goodbye to the Silver Millennium."

"Well Usagi and Mamoru won't let it be like that ever again. Times of purity and peace are a noble goal to strive for but I don't think they're so blind to think that it's entirely possible. When there are so many people and civilizations meshed together there will always be unrest somewhere." She took a sip of her coffee again, if nothing else than to quench the dryness that crept into her throat at his every glance. "The Old Gods will have no weight to enforce their laws and there are no more dark evil secrets, not many threats that we know of, and if I recall Earth will be at the very center of it this time. Ami has the details on the rest, the uses for the other Planetary establishments, it involves a lot of technical stuff." She continued to ramble for a moment, avoiding the mild amusement in his eyes when they became warm and knowing.

"You're getting off topic. You said goodbye to London." He interrupted, knowing the way her brain works the way he did, he knew she'd talk him to death about her duties and all the work she'd been putting in.

"Right. So I had this box of stuff... reminders and momentos of things I lost and left behind from that time in my life. Things I needed to let go of to move on to the next chapter of my life." Khai looked surprised for a moment, hesitant like he wasn't sure he wanted her to elaborate further. "You know things like stupid love letters to crushes I had in middle school, an old photo of my parents... the only one I had of them. My Sailor V mask.. old relics from Ace or whatever you want to call him..." Mina felt her face fall with each admission of something she'd just thrown to the wind. She didn't regret it, they were just things after all. The memories were still there.

"What of me?" Her eyes snapped back at him, her stomach fluttering and heart beating a little harder. Khai looked hurt, and she couldn't tell if it was part of the guilt he no doubt carried with him from that time and beyond or something else. "What did you let go of that was mine?" Mina swallowed hard, licking her lips before she could meet his eyes.

"The song. The song that Saito wrote for me on that coffee stained napkin." She spoke softly, watching his lips tense just a little in a way they used to always set. She knew he was Saito since she heard their band play, from the first note he sang and when he later sang their song from the Boulevard in London. It hurt at the time, but he never sang the song he wrote for her alone. He never admitted it the way he did now with only the tensing of his lips. "I don't need it Khai.. I've sang it enough to always keep it."

"I suppose you can't very well throw me into the ocean... I'm a pretty great swimmer." He chuckled, there was a bite in it that he drowned by another long drink of the dark bitter fluid. "Sorry, this isn't about me. That's an impressive first step, letting go of a hard time in your life like that. Feel lighter?" Mina could almost hear the envy in his voice, it wasn't like him to talk that way.

"Khai it was the hardest time of my life, and there are things I'll carry with me always because there were good times too. Good things that I get to keep." She placed a well meant hand on his, effectively snapping his attention back to her. He searched her face, a familiar expression finally. Tense lips, jaw lightly clenched and eyes gray with a hint of ice. "I got rid of things, objects. I can't escape the memories they belong to, not completely." Mina sat back, removing her hand from his with note of how he relaxed a little. "I feel lighter yes... but only because I feel like I can move forward." Mina laughed a little in her throat. "I wouldn't want to throw you into the ocean by the way."

"What's that like?" His brows furrowed, ignoring her light quip meant to lighten the mood a little. Instead he sought solice in staring hard down into his coffee cup in his hands causing strands of silver to fall forward in contrast of the bronze-like tone of his skin. "I've been at odds with everything since I awakened. Chasing a yesterday I can't escape from."

"Like that song you sing? Or...scream sometimes?" He chuckled, a good nature jab at one of his band's songs. She bore witness to it once that parts were meant to be sung, but Khai would get drunk and Jeison would always encourage his urges to scream the lyrics like some heavy metal god. It was good, even she had to admit it. "If you could throw away pieces of your past... what would you get rid of?"

"That's the problem. Everything tangible that I have from then... I wouldn't want to get rid of. It's the emotional baggage... things I never asked for, and even some that I did." He murmured the last part. "Tell me something good that you kept."

"Fine." She smiled, shifting to face him a bit more and not caring that their legs touched. "I'll tell you something good I kept if you let me help you work through the hardest things you want to get rid of and we'll replace it with something good." Khai stared at her like she had a billion eyeballs or something for a moment, Mina knew it wasn't easy for him because emotions were never easy for the old stone wall of a General to show let alone admit that he had. The shift in his eyes told her that that part of him hasn't changed. "I'll start with that song you think I so rudely discarded."

"It was yours to get rid of. I don't blame you for throwing it out." His brow raised and Mina rolled her eyes, shifting in her seat again with a light bounce.

"No you block head, listen to me. I threw it out because I truly don't need it. I know every word and I won't ever forget it. I sing it to myself all the time, there's even a recorded version of it on one of Ace's old EPs that I actually kept." She licked her lips again, preparing herself for her first attempt to move forward. "Saito hurt me you know... " Khai blanched a little, turning his head out the window behind him as though he was thinking of any excuse to bolt. "He was my first love in this life... fitting that he was you... don't you think?"

"Mina I-" His eyes were wide, he stopped a moment to think of his next words but Mina cut him off with her amused giggle.

"It's okay Khai... it wasn't your fault that you had to go. I didn't know who Saito really was at the time so it hurt. I understand now... but I have treasured that song and I always will." She smiled, and it seemed to turn a light on behind his eyes. "Now your turn... what would you throw out if you could."

"Beryl." He didn't miss a beat and the raw hatred behind his eyes as he thought of her was startling. The shifts in him so easy to see, so fast to change.

"If it's any consolation...I did kill her you know." He shook his head, swallowed hard and clenched his eyes again.

"She did things to me...things I... I can't." His hand shook, she flinched when he set the coffee cup down at little too hard and stood, taking a few steps toward the door. Mina flew to her feet and rushed in front of him, placing her palms on his chest. "I know you mean well Mina but I... I didn't want to go down this path tonight."

"It's okay Khai...I'm sorry I didn't know..." But she did know. She was still a child of Venus after all, incarnation of all things beauty, love and sex. She knew exactly what had gotten him so riled up. Why he acted so strangely sometimes and even flinched when someone touched him. A barely discernable motion that most people overlooked. "Can I give you something good?"

He sighed, her desperate tone deflating him a little and frowned down at her. She stared back at him, unwilling to back down from it, or let him slip through her fingers again when she finally felt brave enough to face him. He nodded, flinching just the slightest when she reached up to trace the scar that split his left eyebrow and she swore he leaned into her touch.

"I don't recall you being the one to hit me with a lead pipe Mina." His bottom lip trembled a little with something like fear. His whispered voice shuttering beneath it. "That was one of the worst days...I was late for a meeting with Beryl and she was so angry...I had failed so miserably, and so I was punished."

"I remember that day much differently..." She whispered back, studying his face when his eyes opened so slowly, her thumb gently stroking the scarred skin above his eye that made him look so much more exotic and regal. Her fingers stroked down his cheek lightly, and pushed him gently with her other hand until he surrendered to the barstool behind him by the open counter of her kitchen. She stepped into him until her chest almost brushed his, nestled between his thighs. "You got knocked out in that gang fight... Sailor V so valiantly broke it up." Mina giggled and his lips twitched in a pathetic display of a half smile. The way Khai's eyes dirifted over her face as she spoke tugged on her heart. "You were hurt so bad.. so I...as Mina couldn't just leave you like that. I dragged you back to the school... it was a weekend so we broke in and you made some wise crack about my short skirt."

"I did no such thing." He pretended to look scandalized and she bit her lip, his latent dramatics a very Saito personality trait. Probably the only reason he was such a great performer.

"You did." Mina giggled, lacing her arms around Khai's neck. He kept his hands tight on his own knees as if he was afraid to touch her. She didn't blame him. "Anyway...I took you to the nurses office and hopped up on the counter for supplies so I could be level with your tall idiot self."

"Gee, thanks Mina." He rolled his eyes, smile growing a bit brighter as she spoke. Mina tried not to get distracted when he licked his lips.

"Hey, you're welcome mister... I think I did a fine job of patching up your eyebrow. AND you got a bad ass scar out of the deal." They both laughed. "I used to go there when I got hurt as Sailor V... best medical training you can get is learning to stitch your own wounds."

"I'm surprised you don't look like Frankenstein's Monster." He laughed, and Mina hit his chest playfully with a laugh of her own. She rest her forehead on his and their eyes met. "What happened next?" He whispered, she could feel his warm breath on her lips.

"Well... " She took his hands from his knees and placed them on her waist, allowing him to pull her closer, to wrap around her in a way she didn't realized she missed. She ran her fingers through his hair lightly, getting them snagged in some tangles but Khai didn't seem to notice. "I patched you up... and you put your hands on my waist and asked me if it was okay..."

"Mmmhmm?" He muttered, their noses brushed and she could feel the fire ignite her blood the closer he held her.

"You knew I'd never kissed a boy before... " Her fingers fumbled through the tangle in his hair and retraced her motion, running her nails lightly against his scalp. He tried not to laugh. Their lips brushed with the movement of her next spoken words. "It was my first kiss silly... OUR first kiss..."

His lips caught hers then, a regular flurry of feelings overcame her as their lips moved together in unison and it was Mina who had to refrain from simply crawling into his lap and letting it carry her away. Had she really forgotten just how incredible his mouth was? It wasn't even anything too heated, more sweet really, but Gods did it unravel her.

"You've had a really good tutor..." He breathed into her. She smiled against his lips when he kissed her again and she nipped playfully at him in his withdrawal.

"I believe it was you two told me to follow your lead." Mina giggled when he nipped her back and her fingers laced at the base of his skull through his hair.

"I'm the best tutor in the world then." She snorted, rolling her eyes and Khai laughed when she fought his hair again in attempt to free her hand so she could punch him in the arm. "So what happened then?"

"Well... I pushed you off before you could maul me to death and we performed a two man show for no one in the auditorium... it was fun and we should so do it again." Khai laughed, nodding his affirmation.

"Well I don't think we ned to break into a school for that... I have a set every Friday...access to a stage and instruments... oh and even a band!" Mina smacked his chest lightly with the back of her hand with another roll of her eyes at his sarcastic banter.

"You know what I mean idiot." She smiled warmly with her teasing words and Khai took the hand she hit him with and kissed it with a devastating smile of his own.

"I remember this a bit clearer now... but I think you're forgetting the best part. The part that made that day the best day... not the worst."

"I mean you bought me a corndog and walked me home... it was a pretty good corndog..." It was Khai's turn to roll his eyes but he pulled her close again. "Oh you mean the goodnight part... that was-"

He cut her off his mouth, moving more urgently this time. Mina didn't bother suppressing the light moan when his tongue slipped between her lips to drag across her teeth. His hands gripped her tight, one wrapped around her waist, the other buried in her hair this time. Khai was a bit more graceful with her own tangled mess of a mane. She slanted her lips further, trying to match his insistent tongue, her hand gripping into the soft fabric of the tighter black sweater he wore. She felt gone, that floating sensation she'd gotten earlier when she sat on the edge of the pier returned to her. It was easy to say she wanted to be lost like this forever, lost in him. Mina felt like her lungs were on fire when they finally parted, meeting the gaze of his darkened gray eyes so laced with want and shared disbelief that this was even happening.

"I hope you didn't think I came here just for this." His brow was raised, lips quirked and swollen but without complaint.

"Oh I know you didn't... and I'm sorry I can't make the memories go away...but I hope I can at least make this one better." Something passed behind his eyes, something broken and touched.

"You know I don't deserve this."

"I know you would never ask for it. But tonight is for goodbyes Khai... for shedding painful pieces of us that would hold us down in the years to come." She stroked his hair, thinking he might crumble beneath the touch and knowing he was too stubborn for that.

"I have a lot more fond memories of that day now... Thank you Mina, for reminding me." She kissed the scar through his brow and took his hands in hers, pulling him back to the small couch with her. "You said hold... US down in the years to come..." Hope shone through his grey eyes like a break in the clouds. She couldn't help the betraying flush that graced the freckled bridge of her nose that came with his sudden intensity.

"Well..." She fiddled with a strand of her hair in her lap and questioned whether or not to continue. "I loved Ace," She began, cautiously watching his expression return to that solemn mask she was ever so used to. "But I loved him before I regained any semblance of memory... I real wonder indeed since I was just a stupid kid. He dangled everything I ever wanted in front of me and I took it without hesitation.."

"You always did know what you wanted." Khai muttered, none too happy about the shift in the conversation that seemed to drag them all over the place. Like he expected much else from Mina, especially when she'd apparently been zig zagging down memory lane all night, it was clear he hadn't wanted to take the turn down Adonis avenue since they'd just kissed like they were starving.

"I knew I wanted to be an idol more than anything. I knew that Ace was this gorgeous older guy, an idol himself, and he wanted me... ME of all people to be a model, and have a musical career, and star in a movie. He was a ticket away from my parents, and for all his creepy infatuation with me he treated me pretty damn well..."

"Aside from the whole using you to help him gather energy for the Dark Agency and making you fall prey to his sick obsessions? You were what fourteen?" Mina knew Khai hated Ace, probably as much as she had grown to hate him when she learned the truth.

"I was fifteen.." She flushed, remembering how she foolishly gave herself to him so young, her expression gave herself away and Khai audibly groaned and looked away. Sure she'd been underaged at the time, Ace was at least eighteen or nineteen but also a supernatural Dark Kingdom baddie and did it count? Sure she'd been reborn but her soul was probably a million years old at least. "Oh don't give me that... how old are you like thirty five now?"

"Twenty nine." He glared over at her and Mina couldn't help but be amused for a moment. It couldn't be easy being the oldest in their group of friends with a pigment difficiency that just so happend to land him with silvery grey hair. "I'm guessing you're still what, ten?"

"I'll be twenty soon." Gosh, had it really been four years since London? Truly time was an anomaly to Mina. She would have sworn something more like ten years had passed with all of the enemies they'd faced and things they had seen. "Hm... that's interesting. You were older before." Khai nodded slowly, hesitantly tensing his lips.

"I don't think age mattered much back in Earth's more primitive years, and then again you were a Goddess. I'm not sure what the policy was on Otherworldy beings." He frowned glancing back at her. "I still don't like that he touched you."

"Oh please...I was the initiator." She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her now very cold, not so appealing coffee. He chuckled softly at her face and shifted uneasily on the couch, anchoring his arm on the back of the cushion to rest his head into the palm of his hand.

"Of course you were." He yawned then, Mina snuck a glance at the clock radio in her bedroom and winced when she saw it was nearly three in the morning. Khai had probably been awake for almost a full twenty four hours.

"Anyways... You distracted me from my point..." She pouted, suddenly feeling the pure adrenaline that was fueling her forward.

"Which is?" She noticed now that his grey eyes were bloodshot, bringing forth the pale color. He yawned again, muttering an apology.

"I loved Ace...and I said goodbye to him tonight. He cursed me you know... gave me a final love fortune that only ever places me on the path toward duty since I have always chosen that over him...I said goodbye because... " Mina hated herself suddenly, unable to pull the words from her mouth because they were scary. She'd always been stuck so deeply rooted in the past, always chose duty over love and she knew that if anyone in this lonely life of theirs got it, it would be Khai. "I needed to say goodbye to all of it... not just Ace and his love fortunes...because there wouldn't have been room left for you."

"Me?" His brow twitched upward, seeming to come to life a little more where it looked like he was dead on his feet. As a CEO for his own international brokerage firm, Mina knew he worked harder than anyone, maybe more so than herself though her work was more geared toward said future duties than answering phones all day like she was supposed to.

"I forgive you."

"I killed you." He breathed this. A hollow sound forming words she knew were painful for him to say. It was a painful memory to them both.

"Can I give you something good?" He nodded slowly, clearly words were lost to Khai which was no regular occurance. He didn't speak many words but he'd always known just what to say. "I never said goodbye to you. Remember?"

His hand lifted to cover his mouth, resting against his fingers he watched her with such heavy emotion. She no longer could tell if his eyes were bloodshot or watering only that she knew he remembered.

The battle between the Senshi and Shitennou was a strange one. The Shitennou were what could almost be called aware of their crimes, their puppet bodies fighting out of pure will of Metallia's essence and some of them even remembered as their bodies deteriorated, as they died. Kunzite had fought through it, begged and pleaded her to deliver him once more so Endymion could be saved and Beryl slain. He had asked her to say goodbye. To be the strong one of them and let go because it was far too late for him, and Venus had refused. She refused to say goodbye.

"I forgive you Khai... there's a lot of hurt that we need to say farwell to, but you're one of the very few things I won't let go of. I'll never give up on you... and I'll never say goodbye." Mina swallowed, trying not to let her own emotions get the best of her. Khai was stunned to silence, understandable since she was certain just a few months back she vowed to never forgive him. "You hurt me... I think we've established that. I can't make promises about our future, or what you will mean to me but-" She was cut off by his finger on her lips. She was getting ready to say too much.

"Please... you've given me more than I ever deserved. I'm a fool if I tell you that I don't want it...that I won't take every ounce of forgiveness or love that you can give me. Mina I..." He became lost, eyes darting between hers, Khai had never looked so desperate. Like a beggar man longing for his next meal. "Thank you... for not saying it. For not giving me the farewell I thought I needed."

"I know I said I can't make promises for us... but would you kiss me again Khai?" He swooped in without hesitation, pulling her until she fell back with him against the armrest of the loveseat with a playful giggle into his mouth. He was still so powerful, pulling her against him like she was as weightless as he made her feel. Mina was certain he probably shared the flashes from another time, hidden behind a white marbled pillar in a foreign palace on the Moon entwined with such need. It leant to the heat of their kisses, shifting the intensity of it to something more empassioned that allowed her to feel the beginnings of his body's reaction to her hunger against her hip.

The alarm on his cell phone rang out loudly amongst her fevered sighs and light moans, a noise that made her jump off of him breathless to the opposite end of the loveseat with wild hair and swollen lips. They both slowly burst into laughter, perhaps the very early hour and lack of sleep lending to their slap happy hysterics.

"What kind of droid wakes up at four in the morning!" Mina exclaimed, throwing one of the orange throw pillows at him while he quieted the alarm. He laughed and threw it back, almost taking out the lamp behind her head.

"It's when I go for my run." He explained through amused chuckles. He'd been officially awake for twenty four hours. Mina grabbed for her phone, sending a text to her boss that she was sick and not coming in today. "Who are you texting right now?"

"My boss... there is no way in Hell I'm going to work today." She shook her head defiantly and Khai rolled his eyes, rubbing them betwen his fingers. Mina grabbed his phone.

"What do you think you're doing?" His hands moved from his eyes while she began typing something out.

"Stephanie is your secretary right? I'm calling you in sick." He reached for the phone but she stood up and hit the send button, tossing it back on the couch. "Come on... let's get some sleep."

"You want me to stay?" Mina rolled her eyes and smiled, stepping forward to grab his hand.

"YES idiot... you've been awake for twenty four hours, you are neither walking or driving home, or working today." He looked uneased as she dragged him into her bedroom which was comically almost taken up entirely by a rather large bed and a few pieces of furniture. "Oh don't worry mister, I'll keep my hands to myself." She held her hands up like she'd been caught red handed. He laughed because she knew it was more Mina that he was worried about trying something devious. He pulled the sweater over his head, the thin tank top beneath it stopping her in her tracks, especially when he moved to unbutton his jeans.

"Mina... you're staring." He frowned, hair still mussed from the couch and not looking too amused. She tore her eyes away and headed for her bathroom.

"Not sorry!" She called out from behind the door. Mina heard his laughter, and the faint shuffling of her covers as he fell into her bed. He appeared to be asleep already when she came out in her usual tank top and sweatshorts that were perhaps a bit short. He'd never looked so peaceful or innocent, stark silver against the red color of her sheets. Of course one look at him she had to remind herself to keep her hands to herself when she lifted the covers to slide in beside him.

She gasped when his strong arms encircled her waist, the soft caress of his lips on her shoulder. Mina turned her head, greeted by his exhausted grey eyes and a pale curtain of his hair. She smiled, finding his fingers against her stomach to lace hers between them. Yes, she was very much in trouble.

"Promise me that when we wake up you'll be here, and this night wasn't a dream?" His voice was gruff with need of sleep, the voice of a man she's known since stars were still being born and planets formed alliances and worlds he couldn't be a part of. She stroked his cheek with her free hand, nestling further against his chest.

"I told you I'd never say goodbye to you, a promise I'll always keep." She yawned, feeling the weariness of the night catching up to her and knew in a few hours the Sun would steal it all away in wake of a new dawn. A hopeful new beginning for all she's said goodbye to tonight. "It's just goodnight Khai... I'll be right here when you wake up, and there had better be pancakes in our future."

"Anything you desire is in your future Mina, if I have any say in the matter." He kissed her shoulder again, resting his mouth there. She could feel him smile against her skin, his arms tightened around her and he finally nestled his face against the pillows into her hair. Mina fell asleep to the sound of his breathing, strong and even and she said a final farewell to the curse etched in blood across her heart.


End file.
